"Then there is Niru's hand on my shoulder and his body behind mine and his tearful eyes ...

Niru grabs my wrist. I try to wave his arm away because I'm tired and with alcohol I feel better standing in place ...
He holds me tightly. Can we go, he says with eyes that say please and thank you. I'm not going anywhere, I say. Dude, she said leave her alone, someone says. Come on let's go, remember Riverrun, he says to me softer now, in my ear, ignoring the bristlling bro behind me. She said to leave her alone. Please don't touch me, Niru says to this boy whose name I can't remember, or maybe he never told me ...
Niru, you're hurting me. Meredith we need to go ...

I should let him go and let this strange night be the end of a long and strange year ...
But I can't. It would be easier if he hated me ...
I pull away from the frat boy who clutches at me and asks if I'm okay. I start after my so-called friend, through doors on to a street filled with people ...
Niru isn't far ahead now, just a few paces with his steps still smug even after the momentary humiliation. I feel so unsteady that I think I'll fall. I shout his name as he turns the corner into an alleyway and then I surge the way I do in a race ...
When I catch him midway down the alley, I push him from behind with a force that carries us forward to the ground ...
He puts his full weight into holding me still. His body presses against mine as he mouths, clam down. Meredith, calm the fuck down. He bleeds from his face, from the pavement burn.

Then I hear it and he hears it - the heavy whomp of a siren. The light from a police car shines brightly against us and a metallic voice booms a tinny instruction. Step away from the woman and put your hands in the air. ...
Niru steps away from me with his hands held high. There is so much space between us now. My hands reach out across the space. Then he hears it and I can just hear it but the person behind the lights can't hear it because of the noise from the club and the noise from the street drowns out the Satie melody (Niru's cell phone melody) that says someone is calling you. He reaches reflexively, and they reach reflexively and he hears it as I hear it but he feels it and I don't.

He lies there in my father's shirt, limbs askew, sneakers still pristine white as his black blood pools in potholes and his hands slap against the ground.

You're safe, a voice tells me. He can't hurt you. Don't look, it's all over, it says. Shots fired, shots fired, requesting ambulance to alley between S and T Streets for subject down. I feel cold. I become a series of shivers."